Posts Tagged ‘practice’

Your Strongest Ally – Your Attitude

You may have heard that your attitude is everything. It can make or break you. It can lift you up or knock you down. It determines how you live your life. The thing is that your attitude is your choice. You can choose what it will be. Will it be good or bad? Will it be optimistic or pessimistic? Will it be positive or negative?

Here are a few attitudes that I’ve been examining in my own life lately.

What others do, say or how they treat you should be of no concern to you. Your reaction to their behavior, their choice of words to describe you to others, their seemingly never-ending attacks on you – open or covert, and a myriad of other steps people like this take to try to take you down can all be stopped when you stop giving what they are doing energy! It’s that simple. Continue to react, get upset or stew about their actions and you dampen the one thing that can move you forward in life and that is your attitude. When you choose the path of no reaction, you are cutting off the head of the snake.

I’d like to thank my attitude for being strong against the viper stings and venomous attacks that have occurred recently in my life. Through diligent practice I am learning to ignore those who feel inclined toward vindictiveness.

How do you do this?

Know that what others think of you, are really just thoughts they have of themselves that they are not willing to accept and look inward to investigate the why’s of. They are not in a state of self-awareness. For instance, a person recently under-handedly called me phony and then within days they wrote about something in their life in a way that was extremely exaggerated. I knew what their reality was and shook my head when I saw this grandiose statement that made them seem like they had more than they actually do.

You are the only one in your life that knows the truth about you. Don’t feel you have to share every detail of your life with people even if they ask. This has been a huge lesson for me as, up until recently, I used to struggle with feeling like I needed to explain myself, to share personal details of my life with even my nearest and dearest. I’ve finally learned I don’t have to and if I don’t want my business to be other people’s business guess who has to keep shut her mouth. It’s hard at first as you have to ignore people’s questions or simply change the subject or say, ‘hey you know that’s not something I’m willing to talk about’. That is where setting boundaries come in.

I’ve been working on setting boundaries after being stung once again by people who have their own agendas for getting information from me.  I sat idly by one day as a person I had shared some sensitive information with repeated in a loud voice to other people, said information. I could not believe my ears. I said nothing and have said nothing to that person but have cut them completely out of my life. It took me a while but I had to come to realize as hard a pill as it was to swallow that the person had a personal agenda and I was just a pawn in their game of life.

Another person very dear to me sent me something as a present but there were strings attached. This person wanted to recruit me to their way of thinking. In the past, I had always just ignored or made comments to them that I figured they wanted to hear but this time I wrote a note to that person to thank them for the present however I did need them to respect my views as I respected theirs and not to send me more of this material. For the first time in my life I set a boundary with this person. I’ve not heard back from them.

I am going to say that gossip or having to know what’s going on is the worst attitude on this planet. A woman I know asked me one day if I knew what was going on down the street – there had been police and an ambulance at a neighbor’s house. I didn’t know nor had I even noticed in fact. She wants to be in the loop so badly that two days later she could not wait to tell me what she had discovered. The information she shared with me had no bearing on her life or mine at all and was simply gossip about another person’s lot in life. I walked out of that visit knowing that gossip is conversation for the idle. What happened in that person’s life was of no consequence to the story teller’s life other than to fill in the silent gaps that are present because there is no outside interest, desire to learn new things or take stock of their own lives and fix what needs to be fixed within.

My attitude has taken a major shift this past month or two. I’ve made some very profound choices and shifted my reactions to external events. It hasn’t been that long at all but I do now see that it is a process that I’ve been working on for quite a long time. It’s just all gelled and has become very clear to me what I need to do to keep my attitude at a level that enhances my life.

I’ve set boundaries and ceased the mindless gossip. I understand that people have personal agendas and know that I can keep my personal thoughts and information close to my vest without feeling like I’m hiding something. Finally, what others think of me are just thoughts about themselves they aren’t yet ready to face. My reaction and the attitude I hold, is first and foremost my strongest ally in this journey called life.