Staying stoked on my journey living my life less familiar.

Siobhan

My dear friend, Cynthia, was just named National Sales Director for Jolica.

If you are like me, you had never heard of the company before, but now you have. Jolica says their vision for their company is to share the art of giving.

MY ART OF GIVING – A host, like I am, receives $180 worth of free product for every $1000 in sales. That’s pretty cool. Do you know what’s even cooler? I’ll be giving all that away to women who are needing a pick me up. Ones who maybe have a job interview coming up and want a little something to make her feel special. Please help me reach this goal. 

You can join my party right here, right now on the web.

As we purchase the fine jewelry, the beautifully soft scarves, and functionally designed handbags, we are supporting the artisans around the world, who in turn can support their families, by creating an opportunity to build a business that provides a better future for themselves, their families, and their communities.

Watch this video to get a feel for my web party ! 

Jolica donates 5% of the sales TOO!

This is amazing… as you make purchase choices for your friends and family, their stockings, under the tree or for those who have birthdays this month that often get lost in the festivities, know that not only will I give $180 of jewelry away for every $1000 in sales, Jolica, the company, gives 5% to prevent blindness in children in India, by providing vitamin A drops. 

The buyers bring in beautiful jewelry, handbags and scarves from countries like Peru, Chile, Thailand, India, Indonesia & Nepal, hand-made by local artisans. For Jolica, the concept of fair trade is their passion and as a result of that, we all get an opportunity to own lovingly hand crafted jewelry pieces like the ones I’ve selected to show you here, along with the story of how it was made, that will be a part of our jewelry collection for many years to come and one day may be passed down as a family heirloom to the next generation.

Join my party right now and start your gift giving experience with Jolica.

Help me celebrate the joy of the holiday season and Cynthia’s new position by taking a look around my web party. You may find that one piece you fall in love with and wear everyday, to share with the world your expression of love, peace, joy or kindness.

Celebrate the art of giving now and take a tour through my Jolica web party.

My best of the season to you and your families. Thank you for your support and kind, loving and often humorous comments you have left on my Facebook wall, on this blog and in person or over the phone about the projects I’m involved with.

I love this orange handbag pictured here. Find it through this link by clicking here to view your choices for your personal collection . To find my party click on join a party, click on Siobhan’s web party and follow the instructions. 

Remember… MY ART OF GIVING – A host, like I am, receives $180 worth of free product for every $1000 in sales. That’s pretty cool. Do you know what’s even cooler? I’ll be giving all that away to women who are needing a pick me up. Ones who maybe have a job interview coming up and want a little something to make her feel special. Please help me reach this goal. 

Try our slideshow creator at Animoto.

Here are a few attitudes that I’ve been examining in my own life lately.

What others do, say or how they treat you should be of no concern to you. Your reaction to their behavior, their choice of words to describe you to others, their seemingly never-ending attacks on you – open or covert, and a myriad of other steps people like this take to try to take you down can all be stopped when you stop giving what they are doing energy! It’s that simple. Continue to react, get upset or stew about their actions and you dampen the one thing that can move you forward in life and that is your attitude. When you choose the path of no reaction, you are cutting of the head of the snake.

I’d like to thank my attitude for being strong against the viper stings and venomous attacks that have occurred recently in my life. Through diligent practice I am learning to ignore those who feel inclined toward vindictiveness.

How do you do this?

Know that what others think of you, are really just thoughts they have of themselves that they are not willing to accept and look inward to investigate the why’s of. They are not in a state of self-awareness. For instance, a person recently under-handedly called me phony and then within days they wrote about something in their life in a way that was extremely exaggerated. I knew what their reality was and shook my head when I saw this grandiose statement that made them seem like they had more than they actually do.

You are the only one in your life that knows the truth about you. Don’t feel you have to share every detail of your life with people even if they ask. This has been a huge lesson for me as, up until recently, I used to struggle with feeling like I needed to explain myself, to share personal details of my life with even my nearest and dearest. I’ve finally learned I don’t have to and if I don’t want my business to be other people’s business guess who has to keep shut her mouth. It’s hard at first as you have to ignore people’s questions or simply change the subject or say, ‘hey you know that’s not something I’m willing to talk about’. That is where setting boundaries come in.

I’ve been working on setting boundaries after being stung once again by people who have their own agendas for getting information from me.  I sat idly by one day as a person I had shared some sensitive information with repeated in a loud voice to other people, said information. I could not believe my ears. I said nothing and have said nothing to that person but have cut them completely out of my life. It took me a while but I had to come to realize as hard a pill as it was to swallow that the person had a personal agenda and I was just a pawn in their game of life.

Another person very dear to me sent me something as a present but there were strings attached. This person wanted to recruit me to their way of thinking. In the past, I had always just ignored or made comments to them that I figured they wanted to hear but this time I wrote a note to that person to thank them for the present however I did need them to respect my views as I respected theirs and not to send me more of this material. For the first time in my life I set a boundary with this person. I’ve not heard back from them.

I am going to say that gossip or having to know what’s going on is the worst attitude on this planet. A woman I know asked me one day if I knew what was going on down the street – there had been police and an ambulance at a neighbor’s house. I didn’t know nor had I even noticed in fact. She wants to be in the loop so badly that two days later she could not wait to tell me what she had discovered. The information she shared with me had no bearing on her life or mine at all and was simply gossip about another person’s lot in life. I walked out of that visit knowing that gossip is conversation for the idle. What happened in that person’s life was of no consequence to the story teller’s life other than to fill in the silent gaps that are present because there is no outside interest, desire to learn new things or take stock of their own lives and fix what needs to be fixed within.

My attitude has taken a major shift this past month or two. I’ve made some very profound choices and shifted my reactions to external events. It hasn’t been that long at all but I do now see that it is a process that I’ve been working on for quite a long time. It’s just all gelled and has become very clear to me what I need to do to keep my attitude at a level that enhances my life.

I’ve set boundaries and ceased the mindless gossip. I understand that people have personal agendas and know that I can keep my personal thoughts and information close to my vest without feeling like I’m hiding something. Finally, what others think of me are just thoughts about themselves they aren’t yet ready to face. My reaction and the attitude I hold, is first and foremost my strongest ally in this journey called life.

Calloused as her hands may have been she was a proud woman and no one would dare speak to her as if her role in life was beneath them or that she was doing menial work. Caring for people with the abundance of love she had was her joy. This summer I’ve discovered by chance that I hold many of her loving characteristics. Yes, my hands are now calloused and as I rub them I can’t help but feel her pride. In fact, I lovingly and proudly wear her ring and at the base of that finger is a callous. Seeing it there makes me smile.

I now know why, as she was preparing to leave this existence she sang, Louis Armstrong’s, What a Wonderful World. ( you can find a version of it at this link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5TwT69i1lU&NR=1 ) Caring for people & animals & their daily needs is one of the most satisfying & loving things I can do. The hugs & licks, you get in return is worth more than having what so many people are trying so hard to achieve – an overflowing bank account & keeping up with the Joneses. I guess I’ve always known it & it comes naturally to me. It is my JOY.

I wake up & go to sleep with a smile on my face knowing I have made another life easier with kind words, an understanding heart & a happy, positive disposition just like my Mum did.

To all caregivers, babysitters, nurses, & people who love to care for others! – YOU ROCK!

 - posted on Facebook, Sunday July 10, 2011,  by Donna M Butler, co-founder THE BROKE WIVES’ CLUB and co-host The Attitude Shift show.

This tremendous statement was posted by my partner in The Broke Wives Club and my co-host on its signature show, The Attitude Shift on her Facebook page and I found it so thought-provoking I wanted to share it on this blog. There is much to its meaning. I ask you to consider this statement if you find people turning from you and your actions. For example, If you’ve had anger directed towards you consider that it may be a reflection of where your heart lies. Think about it and think past your ego to the underlying reasons this could be true. Be open to what percolates to the surface.

People around you may be angered by what it is you have done simply because they feel that your heart is not in the right place. Understand I say a feeling not a judgment. There is a difference. To feel is to just be. To judge is to assert your beliefs on another.

The actions you’ve taken may in fact be selfish, mean-spirited, or any number of negative descriptors. Stop and look inward instead of lashing out with blame or the ‘they don’t understand me’ reactions.  When you find the answer, pick up the phone, send an email, walk up to the person, and apologize then get your heart pumping again.

Thank you for this powerful statement Donna.

She first joined my co-hosts, Donna M. Butler, Haley Patterson and myself, Siobhan Shaw on The Attitude Shift show for a great conversation with guest host, Patricia Allen-Jenkins.

As we were talking, the flight attendant came by and told her to shut her phone off as they preparing for take-off.

My throat closed up. My hands went clammy. My head felt faint. What if I just hung the phone up? Would people believe I lost the connection? 

Oh, but wait, Donna said that Haley was calling in any minute to do the show with me so okay I can do this. Sure, we may have the guest with what is most likely the biggest Facebook following ever in the history of the show on, but Haley and I can handle this. We did before. I’ve even hosted the show on my own once before, a long time ago.  I’ve got notes and stuff happens. We’ll get through it.

This was what my thoughts flashing through my mind were like. The manic thoughts came on strong as I started the show. I didn’t see anyone on the switchboard calling in, not a soul

No Haley.

No guest.

No one.

The lump in my thought now got bigger. My thought? Now if that isn’t a Freudian slip, then there never was one. I meant to type throat. (you’ll see why later that this is significant)

Despite the inflammation in my throat and I can see today, my thoughts, I kept talking. I truly have no idea what I said. I was thinking ahead. What was I going to do if no one came on? The panic was setting in.

Then all of a sudden I looked down at the computer screen and there was Donna’s number showing up.. I frantically clicked the button…”Donna!….Donna!” ….silence…..keep talking Siobhan, I heard a voice deep inside say…

“Oh there’s our guest, Byron Katie… okay still breathing… helloooooo.. whew there’s Katie as everyone calls her and oh Donna, thank goodness.. her flight has been delayed, they’re letting her off the plane…okay the show will go on.”

It certainly didn’t go off like that. Yes, Katie was on the show, yes Donna was on the show and then Donna was gone. The plane took off. She said hello and she loves Katie and a few words…then nothingness.

There was still no Haley. I felt there was deafening silence but I’ve since listened to the show and I kept talking. Katie talked, I talked. Katie talked. I talked.

As we talked, I began to feel a heat deep within myself. It was a feeling I do not believe I have ever felt in my lifetime. It was like someone had wrapped my heart in a warm blanket. I began to breathe. I began to calm down, I began to listen to Katie, I began to hear Katie. I began to hear myself. Really hear myself. We shared with each other, with the callers, with the audience.

My great friend Kim, has since written to say she felt I was doing the Work of Byron Katie as we did the show. I agree. I was working it all out in my mind.

I met a good friend, Kia the day after the show and Kia had actually called in, as she is a huge fan of Katie’s and the moment I saw Kia, I said… I know what it was like now for the disciples to have met Jesus. I’m not saying Byron Katie is the second coming of Christ as that’s not my business, that’s God’s business, however I met on that show, a woman who has the tools for each of us to end our suffering, for the world to end war and for all of us to experience great joy. Sound familiar? I’m not here to run a commentary on religion, Jesus or God. That’s not my business. I am here to share with you what I experienced and maybe, just maybe you will experience as well, something so profound, so life changing that you too walk around with a silly grin on your face at the local grocery store feeling like you have a surprise for everyone in the world.

Byron Katie, was unknown to me a month or so ago. I had determined recently that I must follow my intuition. My intuition brought me to Katie’s website and without out a thought, I pushed the send button as friend of the show and mentor. Paul Martinelli had once told us to do, and invited her on the show.

As she said on the show, “when you filled out a request asking me to be on this show I just couldn’t jump at it quickly enough, I love what you are doing. I couldn’t say yes quickly enough. My motives are your motives.”

WOW! Little did I know that Katie’s message would radically shift my world.

She is not a talking head, telling me to wish my way to success and happiness. She has ground breaking tools to shift our attitudes.

They work. They are part of what she refers to as The Work.

The Work is free for everyone around this world and I encourage you to go do the work. At first I was resistant. I was angry. I closed her book and walked away from it. I came back the next day and started writing…I wrote, my penmanship got bigger, messier, harder to read…I was angry about the situation I had chosen to write about. I was doing her Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet.

The process of inquiry as she puts it, is:

Judge your neighbor,

Write it down,

Ask 4 questions,

Turnaround 

(This is free at www.thework.com)

I’ll use the situation with the show to provide an example of how this tool ends your suffering and pain.

1.   Judge Your Neighbor.

My neighbor in the case of the show would be Donna. My thoughts about her not being on the show would have gone something like this.

How could she do this to me?

What was she thinking booking a flight home on show day?

She doesn’t care about the show.

She doesn’t care about me.

I’m so upset with her.

I’m angry she didn’t do the show.

There shouldn’t have been a storm in Chicago.

2.   Write it Down.

Okay, you get the concept of the exercise. You actually judge your neighbor. You write down your thoughts as they flow and boy do they flow. Writing them down is important and you can find out why on Byron Katie’s website.

3.   Ask 4 Questions.

I’ll ask the first 2 questions for just one of the statements I wrote down for space and time constraints but you answer the 4 questions for each statement you wrote.

I’m angry she didn’t do the show.

Question 1: Is that true?  (yes or no answer)

Yes

 (yes, I was upset and angry)

Question 2: Can I know it is absolutely true?  (yes or no answer)

No

(No, I can’t know that she absolutely didn’t do the show because she planned it that way or wanted to see me fall on my face or…any number of reasons I can come up with)

I hoping you see the process here. It may not be as clear as mud here but it’s clear as stink at  thework.com  and there are even facilitators, you can call for free and work through this process with. I encourage you to do it.

There are 2 more questions that are part of this inquiry. However, although I have done them, I want to go straight to turnaround again for space and time constraints.

The turnaround has me look at myself. Turn the statement, I’m angry she didn’t do the show to I’m angry I didn’t do the show.

Aha!

I’m angry I didn’t, I can’t do the show. I have no confidence to do the show on my own. I’m no good at hosting a show.

You see where this is going. My thoughts of anger were actually thoughts of anger towards myself. I was afraid to host the show on my own because my confidence to do that is, was, the size of an ant.

This realization is very freeing. It isn’t Donna who made me feel the way I was feeling. It was myself.

The anger I felt for her not being able to do the show was simply a reflection of the anger I have about my ability to not do the show. I’ve used Donna as a crutch. As long as she’s on the show I don’t have to step up. I don’t have to face my fear of hosting a show. I don’t have to do much on air, I can stay safe doing the producing work behind the scenes. I can do what I am confident I can do. Book the guests, do the research, make friends.  I don’t have to step up and talk. I don’t have to show the world my fear, my nervousness.

The situation was what it was. My negative, fearful thoughts stood in my way of pure enjoyment of talking with a wonderful woman. I see that now. I know that now. The concept of questioning my thoughts has shifted things for me dramatically. Question the negative thoughts that crop up. Write them down, turn them around and you will find freedom.

I’ve got a lot of thoughts to write down and I will. I am confident that my life has just turned a corner and what’s around that corner is my version of heaven.

I love you Donna for who you are and for not being on the show last Wednesday. Thank you for being my catalyst to this revelation. I’m excited for the next show and the next one and the one after that. It is an amazing, joyful ride.

CLICK TO HEAR THE SHOW

WOW! What an amazing day I had on set today. I have been working on this project for a year and today was the most fun and the most emotional I have had to date. We started our day at the ranch with Samuel Doyle playing ‘Ozzie Livingston’ and once that was finished we packed up the cars and headed to Summerland Yacht Club, where Kennedy ambushed me, asking me to write for this film’s blog. With that request, I felt a wave of apprehension wash over me as I was wondering what in hell was I going to say. The excitement and tribulations of the last few weeks of preparation and the first few days of filming; the fact that I haven’t been able to sleep much, and being faced with Mother’s Day less than 5 months after my own Mother’s death, had left me exhausted and pretty much brain-dead…

Fast-forward to Mother’s Day 2011, and a lot has happened. Four years have passed and that film mentioned, The Beast of Bottomless Lake, has won multiple awards, can be seen on TV and is coming out on DVD soon; I’ve moved on to be the producer and co-host of a popular Internet show, The Attitude Shift and co-founder of The Broke Wives Club with Donna M. Butler and Haley Patterson, and with that have found my purpose in life; the make-up of my life has changed; people have come and gone; I’ve traveled far and moved often, loved well and at times strongly disliked; I’ve laughed until it hurt and cried until it didn’t.

I’m not sure I had ever understood the term bittersweet until that day I wrote those words, in the opening. It was the first Mother’s Day I experienced without searching for just the right card to give my Mum, or dialing the phone to tell her I love her. Loss was what I was feeling. Lost was my way of being. Mother’s Day became the epitome of bittersweet. I loved my Mother like no other and I miss her like no other. Yet despite the longing to lay my head on her shoulder, feel the warmth of her breathe upon my cheek, and soak in her soothing scent I now celebrate our connection. Today, I toast her goodness and grace and am grateful to be her daughter for all eternity.

During this time many friends around me became Mothers and Grandmother’s; some have said their final goodbyes to their Mum; some still don’t speak to theirs; some are thinking of becoming Mums and others are just practicing which is certainly fun; some have found new Mum’s and adopted them as their other mother; some have left home and now know what life without Mum day in day out is really like.

As another Mother’s Day is upon us, I am here to celebrate Mothers. Not just Mothers as most consider them, but all women who provide or have provided nurturing, love, words of wisdom, and the odd buck or two to a child, young or old.

On the show we hosted a women, Laura S. Scott, who had chosen to be childless. She had chosen to forgo the gratitude every May she would receive in the form of bouquets of flowers or a free brunch with unlimited Mimosa’s. She chose for a myriad of personal reasons not to become a Mother. Yet she is a Mother. She like all women whom for whatever reason, remain childless, are also in my mind Mothers. Mother’s of the world.

After that show I now recognize that fact and the angst I have felt about not being a Mum has evaporated. Women are by nature nurturers. We seek it out whether we birth or adopt a child or not. It comes naturally to women. I suppose there are those that have no concept of how to embrace a child with caring and love, but given the opportunity, most women have an innate sense of how to nurture. They may have the role of aunt, teacher, or mentor. They may only serve children in a restaurant or guard them in a correctional institute but they are mothering no matter the role.

On this Mother’s Day 2011, I celebrate all women for being wonderful Mothers. I embrace that notion and know that Motherly love will bring the world to a better place. We hold the future of the world in our hands.

And…speaking of a better place, I hear there’s a great brunch being served. Bring on the champagne!

Here’s to you Mum. I miss you.

What she did next blew my mind.

She looked down at it, grabbed her order, and walked away. She walked over it and kept on moving as if nothing had happened. Now it’s only conjecture on my part but I’m guessing when she looked down at it, she was deciding whether it was worth it to bend down to pick it up. I could imagine the, ‘should I or shouldn’t I’, argument that briefly flitted through her mind something close to the decision she’d just made about her coffee drink, ‘do I want whip on that?’

For those of you that follow the Law of Attraction you know that walking past any amount of money is seriously undermining your ability to keep it flowing into your life. By just walking away, she put the vibration out into the universe that money matters little to her. Sure toss it, I don’t need it. I beg to differ. Money at the best of times can be hard to come by and it doesn’t just land in your lap. You earn it. You count it. You save it. You spend it on things you want and need. It’s important in your life.

A long time ago someone suggested to me that I should always pick up loose change even pennies whether they were on the floor in my home, buried in the seat cushions or I happened upon them on the sidewalk. At first I thought well pennies especially aren’t worth anything. In fact I’ve seen people actually toss them in the trash. Sure we give away loose change. We leave a penny; take a penny. We toss pennies into fountains. Drop them into charity boxes. Some may even throw a few coins in a homeless person’s hat or a street musicians guitar case. We may even top up the meter for the next car and driver that takes our parking space. Yet that isn’t discarding money. There are reasons why we do that. People we’re helping or simply a kind gesture. That’s all good and fine. I encourage it.

The other side of the coin is those who have little respect for money. Like Miss Lazy Latte, who simply walked past her moolah because she couldn’t be bothered to lean over and pick it up or ask someone to.

Heads up everyone, money does make the world go round. As long as there have been humans on this earth, there has been some measure of currency. Beads, coins, paper money and one day even toilet paper may reign supreme and be the currency of the day. The reality being is that money gets us stuff. So when we have total disregard for money, and it’s value aren’t we saying hey, I don’t need any? It’s like garbage and get it out of my sight and keep it out.

I started shifting my awareness to finding money and now I have a game I play almost everyday. I will say to myself today I’ll find money on the street, in the parking lot, in the grocery store aisle or a number of other obvious places spare change may be discovered. Most everyday, I find at least a penny. I’ve found nickels, dimes and quarters, even the odd bill. Gone are the days when I would say, I’m so broke I can’t rub to nickels together because I usually find two if I’m aware enough of my surroundings to pay attention to what it is I’m walking over, past or through. I’m putting out vibes to say, hey I respect money and it comes to me. Now I haven’t mastered finding bags of cash hanging about but I believe that’s just a matter of time!  Tails… I win.

I now understand why my Mum would always chant when she came across small change, ‘pick a penny up and all day you‘ll have good luck.’ Respect all money and you will want for none.

Tonight, my co-hosts, Donna M, Butler and Haley Patterson on our wildly shifting and totally popular show, The Attitude Shift, will be talking to Mary Pitman, author of The Little Book of Missing Money. Finding money started out as game for her as well, or perhaps more a pastime, and turned into this amazing guide with links, tips and tricks for everyone to discover unclaimed money in their names that the government holds. It is true and Donna’s husband, Ivy, found money he has claimed. Mary is on the up and up and wrote the book so that people can find their own money without having to pay fees to get at what is rightfully theirs.

Tune in either live with us or check out the archive anytime at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-broke-wives-club/2011/04/14/the-attitude-shift

Be sure to join our Facebook page as well to stay in the shift. You never know what you’re missing until it’s gone.  http://www.facebook.com/theattitudeshift

It is my favorite hiking trail I’ve challenged myself to so far. It’s not a walk in the park. You need to be sure-footed, and definitely paying attention to where you step. Look up to daydream, and a twisted ankle may be the image you find yourself staring at as the rescuers pull you out of this canyon.

As I practice the art of self-awareness, it seems more and more stuff crops up, that throw me off my path. Now I’m tuned into what is going on in my mind, in my heart, in my gut, it seems issues or let’s call them considerations show up more often. I am attempting to no longer go blindly through life. Don’t get me wrong, there are many days I find myself hiding behind those figurative dark glasses, afraid to peek out for fear of being seen for who I am and what I think and feel. It’s a process, this practice of self awareness, and I highly encourage it. Courage is the tool you need to pack with you for as sure as you seek self awareness, you will discover many things about you that set you downhill into a crevice of self pity, self doubt and self loathing. You must have the courage to see these things clearly and at times the truth cuts deep. Yet, it is only with an open wound that one can witness the healing process.

I’ll call these things that crop up, trip over, run into, considerations because they make you consider their impact on your life. They make you consider new avenues to turn down. They make you consider if what it is you are thinking and doing right now is a result of following your gut or following the crowd? Is it ego driven or passion driven? Does it help you or hinder you? Is it a result of past issues from your family of origin? This list is probably endless.

It was on this hike that I found myself face to face with some considerations. The catalyst, was a woman. I was on the path heading up a somewhat steep grade. Billy-goating as I like to refer to it as. Yet, this is where I lost my footing. I ran smack dab into her steadfastness, which meant there was not a chance on this green earth she would give way for me so I could pass.

That’s right, she was in my way, on my side of the path. There’s etiquette when hiking and like driving on the right hand side of the road, you walk on the right-hand side of the path and when someone is coming up hill you move over to let them keep moving.

Well for whatever reason, bad day or bad manners or simply unaware, she stood her ground. I was almost right in her face expecting she’d move over when she said, “excuse me” in a you’re in my way tone, and in an instant I shifted over and gave way.

I actually recorded my emotions as I reached the top of the hill and headed for the car to lick my bruised feelings. You can hear that and my entire on location musing about this on, A Life Less Familiar. Click here. I got upset with myself as I realized I give way often. Some of you may know what I’m talking about. Some may not. Take for example, you’re walking on a busy sidewalk or in a crowded mall and people just don’t budge and it’s you that has to move over or go around them. My question is why do we do that?

It’s been a few days since this incident so I’ve had time to mull it around. The conclusion I’ve come to is that first, I must be grateful for people like her because if she had not blocked my path I wouldn’t have taken one iota of time to look at myself, try and understand what was going on in me. Why did a small thing like bad hiking etiquette upset me so much? I know that by facing this and trying to figure it out I”ll be in a better position mentally and spiritually for having thought about it and understanding why it happened, and how I would handle it next time or what I would do to create within me a way of being where someone would move out of my way.

Back to why we give way? Is it sheer politeness? How our parents were or how we were taught? Are we mimicking what other people around us do? Or is it a deeper reason, one that goes way back to our youth? Is it that we need so badly for people to like us? Do we give ourselves to their control simply because we want to be liked or to be lead? Are we looking for that way of being where we don’t have to make decisions, and that we don’t have to get into fights, or disagreements so we give away our power. Or maybe we’re sabotaging ourselves for fear of failure, being seen as inconsequential, as missing a few brain cells because if we stood up and said “hey, no, you move over buddy”, then we’d have to walk into unfamiliar territory. Territory that means we have to own the consequences, which may in some cases mean harsh words thrown our way or a strong left hook.

There’s probably a book beginning here so I’ll end it with, what do you think? Why do we give way? I have a feeling it’s different for each of us.

One last thought – take up the practice of self-awareness and begin to get out of your own way! It eventually makes for a more pleasant walk through life as you work on and then leave issues that crop up, in your dust.

Tune in and listen to the show that was the first step to writing this blog. A Life Less Familiar – Stand Your Ground

If I do this and then that happens, I’ll be good. I’ll feel I made the right decision but what if I chose wrong? What if the choice I make takes me somewhere that’s no good? If I had only stayed over on that path, I’d be where that person is. It’s a dilemma.

Do you ever feel that way? I’m not saying what the choices are I am making, because I want you to fill in the blanks with your own situations you are up against and the choices you have to make. I’ll just share the process I’m discovering and what works for me in hopes I may help you.

It’s one of those internal dialogues you have with yourself that makes you think that you are on a hamster wheel and there is no way off. A damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation or so I feel right now in the present moment.

I know once I make a decision, I’ll move on and put my full enthusiasm into the choice I make. It must be the best decision for me, yet based on a clear mind and an open heart not on fear and expectation. It can’t be about the ‘what ifs’, about money, about recognition, about acceptance or any number of possibilities. It has to be what feels best not for my ego but for my soul.

That ego thing really is a rollercoaster ride. It takes you up, drops you down, churns your stomach and then makes you squeal like a little girl at the thrill of it all. Yet the ego has its very own selfish reasons why it wants what it wants. Those wants are often not in your best interest. Your ego has a funny way of placing you in a position that makes you do things, say things and react to things in a way that makes you the fool.

I certainly don’t want to fool myself into a decision that my ego is beating the drum for. I do want to make one that suits me. Suits my very essence, the ‘who’ in, I am.

To make some headway in my decision-making process, I figured creativity might play a role in the process of choosing this path or that.

It’s always best to follow your intuition however getting advice from experts as a second opinion is s smart move. I have a ton of connections with self-improvement experts through my Facebook account. People I’ve known, been pals with, worked with, heard of, paid attention to, enjoyed their advice and felt at home with. It came to me that I should call on them to help me with my decision so today when I woke and opened my Facebook page I immediately knew the answer was there. If not the answer, then a deeper look into my own fears, intuitions, and thought processes so that I could conclusively make a decision and feel it was the best for me.

Below is my creative way of aiding my decision process through the quotes and comments that were posted today February 9, 2011, on the pages of my Facebook friends and make it fun and interesting along the way.

When you are under stress your motor cortex part of your brain doesn’t allow you to work optimally and basically shuts down your action center and frontal lobe- the genius part of yourself. Release your stress daily, connect to source and turn back on your genius. A walk, mediation, prayer, guided imagery are just a few ways to do this. Remember, Attention, Intention and NO tension are the keys to succeeding. – John Assaraf

Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakes. -Carl Gustav Jung via unknown

To Love Oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance. Oscar Wilde via Because We Are Women Creating Possibilities

Experience is the teacher of ALL things. ~ Julius Caesar via Christina Norman

The Only Good Thing About A Bad Attitude Is You Can Change It… – Tammy Curry

When every 1 is against u, it means that u are either absolutely wrong-or absolutely right…. Take your chances!- A. Guignon via David Roppo

‎Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced. ~ Unknown via Christina Norman

If you want to realize YOUR DREAMS, you’re going to have to make some changes—in the things you do, the thoughts you think, the choices you make, and the actions you take. Life is short—too short to waste even a precious day. It’s important to live your life-and every single day of your life—deliberately and on purpose. You only get one life here on earth. Make it a GREAT ONE! ~John Ramsey

Don’t quit what you’re doing now if it has super long-term potential because you’re having a difficult time dealing with the stress of the present moment. – Better Day Movement

I hated every minute of training but I said,”Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion. ~Muhammad Ali via Earl Mann

‎Be as you are. Do what you love. Inspire others by example. ~ Brian Piergrossi via Christina Norman

‎As poet-philosopher Rabindranath Tagore reminds us, “We cannot cross the sea merely by staring at the water.” Simplicity has power. And living on purpose comes to this: Just do it. How much simpler can we get?-Dan Millman via T. Harv Eker

Always do what you are afraid to do. – Ralph Waldo Emerson via Maurice DiMino

Some people let the storm take the wind from their sails and others use the storm to pick up speed! – Scott M. Fay

Do you dare to do something extraordinary? – Robert S. Baines

True faith and courage is like a kite:  an opposing wind raises it higher. – via Paul Martinelli

We cannot seek achievement for ourselves and forget about progress and prosperity for our community. Our ambitions must be broad enough to include the aspirations and needs of others, for their sakes and for our own.~ Cesar Chavez via Christina Norman

Quit playing small like a chicken and move to soaring like an eagle. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. We are all meant to shine, we are born with a Spirit of Excellence, And as we let our Excellence shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. ~John Ramsey

‎The highest reward for a man’s toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it. – John Ruskin via Bob Proctor

Enthusiasm is powerful. How can you expect to rally your team if you’re not motivated yourself? If what you’re doing doesn’t motivate you, chances are you’re in the wrong business. Do what inspires you, do it with all your might & stamp it with your own signature. It takes an energy to charge those around you. Stoke the fire! Business Catalyst Bootcamp

I feel very empowered today…..how about you? – Steve Siegwalt

Many people get it backwards and think SOMEONE or SOMETHING will give them success or happiness….when in fact YOU are the ONLY one who can create TRUE fulfillment in YOUR life! Once you have made up your mind, believing in your spirit about WHO YOU ARE, the Universe will orchestrate the right relationships and open doors. ~ZoeLena Shuster via John Ramsey

Be Ready – Life has so much in store for you! – Bill Walsh

Off to do what I do best!!!- Tammie Fleming

Will go take a nap!!!- Simone Graser

All I can do is laugh……………..what is this lady talking about!!!!! – Haley Patterson

That last two comments are just for laughs. That was a powerful exercise for me and I am now closer to a decision. I have a few people to speak to before I move ahead however the decision is near. I can feel it. Can you?